"Vague But True" by Tim Bedore Show #137

Comic Tim Bedore shares another of his famous "Vague But True" segments as heard on the Bob & Tom Radio Show Nationwide. Tim crafted this special piece just for us, so listen to his wisdom and enjoy...Ha!

Tim Bedore is a celebrated comedian renowned for his masterful comedic storytelling, particularly through his segment "Vague but True" on the Bob and Tom radio show. Bedore believes that comedic storytelling involves taking real-life situations and adding humor and exaggeration to create memorable stories, as demonstrated in his tale about a retired couple's road trip to Alaska and their misadventures involving a chihuahua and an eagle. His style, which includes elements of surprise, irony, and clever wordplay, keeps audiences engaged and laughing, showcasing the absurdity and humor in everyday life. Through his vivid storytelling, Bedore captures the intricacies of human behavior and relationships, leaving a lasting impression with his unique and quirky perspective on life's ups and downs.

Transcript

Announcer: 0:02

Stand up comedy. Your host in MC presents comedy Appeteasers, a podcast where you will find short comedy sets, stories and funny bits from the famous and not so famous. Here is your host and MC, Scott Edwards.

R. Scott Edwards: 0:22

It stars Tim Beador. You may have heard that name. He's a regular on the Bob and Tom radio show. He's done shows, radio and tv from coast to coast. And he is the host of Vague but true, a terrific short story entertainment piece that I just think is always very funny. In fact, he did something special just for us. So ladies and gentlemen, sit back and enjoy vague but true starring Tim Bedor.

Tim Bedore: 0:53

Here he is, a philosopher, a writer, a comedian, a man that knows the future but doesn't want to give away the fiery ending. The host of Vague but true, Tim Beadour. Well, thank you very much. At a certain point in life, people start asking you for advice either because you are older than them or they are stupid. Well, excuse me for being so judgmental. I've had experiences they haven't had. I've seen things they haven't seen or they're stupid. And that's why I decided to be a life coach. I want to help people and I'm there for them when they ask me questions like what is it like to be married? What is it like being in a long term relationship? Why is it hard? What does it take to have a successful marriage? And this is what I tell them. I read the story in the newspaper decades ago and I've never forgotten it because it tells you everything you need to know about how to succeed as a couple. A retired married couple from Georgia headed out on a long road trip, piloting their land yacht they nicknamed the Pension palace. They had pension pal painted on the back like it was a boat and they were very proud of it. They leave Georgia after ten days on the road. They pull into the town of Valdez, Alaska to get gas and to walk their dog, a tiny chihuahua named Mister Dingles. Unbeknownst to them, an eagle lived in a perch that this gas station as kind of a, I don't know, a gimmick. They had put this big perch up above their gas station and an eagle lived in ithood. And when the eagle saw this chihuahua, it thought, oh boy, mexican food. So the eagle swoops down, grabs Mister dingles and soars out over the bay. Witnesses said they heard a brief half yelp from dingles as the eagle's talons cut off his windpipe and then off goes the eagle and Mister dingles flying out over the bay. Mister Dingles leash floating behind like a kite tail. The eagle taking him to a most tragic and certain fate. Unless of course, this eagle just wanted to give Mister Dingles an aerial tour of Valdez, which is highly unlikely now. This couple from Georgia, they were actually going to Alaska to see eagles. They knew all about birds. And upon seeing her beloved Mister dingles flying off into a literal and figurative sunset, that woman knew what was going to happen to her dog. She began to cry uncontrollably and slumped to the ground right next to the air hose tire philip thing heartbroken, her husband rushing to her side to console her. After several minutes of unashamed sobbing, she regained enough composure to be walked back to their motorhome. Her husband dutifully helped her into the passenger side door, buckled her up, closed the door, walked behind the Winnebago and started doing a victory dance, pumping his fists in the air, huge smile on his face. Apparently he never did like Mister dingles. Probably wanted a lab or a bigger hunting kind of dog and got stuck with a yippee chihuahua that his wife wanted. And after his fervent prayers to God that somehow dingles leaves the house without his having to be personally involved, it happened. God heard his prayers and this led to an end zone. Just won the Super bowl victory dance behind the Winnebago, fist pumping to the sky, mouthing but not shouting the words, yes, yes, yes. But then he composed himself and got back into the pension pal, respectfully somber and supportive of his wife, according to the owner of the gas station, who saw the whole thing. Now imagine, if you will, these two people joined together through the bonds of holy matrimony, their love blessed by God or city hall, justice of the peace. Whatever they did, these two people have been working together for decades to enjoy their golden years. Seeing the country now having two completely different takes on this experience. The wife, while loving eagles, was tortured by the knowledge dingles would soon be in a nest surrounded by hungry eaglets, the little bell on Mister dingles collar ringing with every hungry tug and bite. And he was thinking, I've been praying to God for years to somehow get rid of that obnoxious chihuahua. And it finally happened. Thank you God. Or thank you, evolution for turning dinosaurs into raptor bald eagles, because finally the hairless hound was snatched at a downtown filling station. Imagine how difficult it was for him to put on that somber face after doing a victory dance to celebrate his sudden Chihuahua less good fortune. But he did it because his wife was in such emotional pain. After celebrating behind the Winnebago, according to witnesses. Once inside, he consoled her and pretended to be as upset as she was. And I tell my single friends, being married is a lot like that. For Scott Edwards, your host and Mc. I'm Tim Beadour with vague but true you've heard words to remember, words for young and old to hear, words of our national heritage, words timber said on the radio.

Announcer: 6:10

Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Comedy Appeteasers. Be sure to share with family and friends, and we will see you this Sunday for our regular podcast, your host and MC, and again next Friday for another episode of Comedy Appeteasers. Bye.