Jack Mayberry "Live" Show #79

Here is a short funny comedy set by Jack Mayberry, recorded live and full of laughs!
Jack is out of Lubbock Texas and has a great down to earth style...Listen & Enjoy!

Transcript

Jill Edwards: 0:02

Stand up comedy, your host and emcee presents, comedy appetizers, a podcast where you will find short comedy sets, stories and funny bits from the famous. Not so famous. Here's your host and emcee Scott sky that we're seeing everybody.

Scott Edwards: 0:23

Thanks for joining us for another special bonus show. On this one, I'm sharing some material from one of my favorite acts. This was recorded live back in the day. He is a very talented stand up comic who appeared a lot on television, but really had more success on stage. Very funny, very down to earth kind of plane. Well, he's from Lubbock, Texas, so kind of a plain speaking comic. I know you'll enjoy his comedy is funny, it's pure. So let's get in and hear a little bit of Jack Mayberry I

jack mayberry: 0:59

get lost conflict by the whale at the beach Do you know that I can fly to any major city in this country rent a car and in five minutes we lost in the worst section of town. They told me this because they put the airports in the worst section of town which doesn't make me feel any better. That means I'm not getting very far before me. And hate being lost Virginia last year the idiot you know you don't know what you're doing and everybody else knows what they're doing. They're all behind me going you don't know where you're going. And there's the ad and I'm up there going Nope, I have no idea where I'm going to hell I don't even know where I've been moved out to LA they were shooting idiots out there for a while Oh certainly sharpen your driving skills right there sure is point from A to B is a zigzag pattern got so bad when I first moved out here they've taken the metering lights out of the freeway systems. They just had a guy at the top of every entrance ramp that would holler pull and you would drive off into traffic and people shooting and shifting at the same time got lost in Hawaii there's a hell of a place to be last year we're gonna they're going to pronounce the names of the towns that was lost in there on the phone and people going on and Hana Hana Hoonah Munna I don't know what to trace this call come get me man help me here gonna sail on Val's continent for Pete's sake was wanting to epileptic seizure trying to pronounce her name now we're in kind of

Unknown: 2:44

going into one town over there nobody in the car was in could figure out what the name of the town were. We went into a restaurant to get something to eat and waitress came over and I said Would you tell us how you pronounce the name of this place? And would you say it real slowly and she looked at me and said Dairy Queen I couldn't be a politician man I couldn't undergo the kind of scrutiny those people do you go into my past 30 minutes I'd be on the private sector looking for employment I like being a voter very empowering feeling the need to be an American voter walking into that voting booth picking up a pen and going you're out of here you're here to get a job I don't know who to vote for I just vote against people I don't think it makes us goods where the difference anymore the Democrats are tax and spin Republicans are taxing give it to their friends. Both plants produce what Ross Perot calls that giant sucking sound is a problem here and they look like Ross Perot

jack mayberry: 3:59

What about from this angle right here? What am I gonna go Oh, are you people listening to me in trouble I'm talking all the time now only less than half of time.

Unknown: 4:17

Politicians are spending our grandkids money. Well, your grandkids money my grandkids are gonna be set for life but you know what I'm talking about here kind of a dubious distinction looking like Ross Perot. But then I thought hey, it could have been worse I could look like Yasser Arafat guy but this was tall with the turban Yasser Arafat man they said that that guy snuck through a security checkpoint dressed as a Palestinian woman that doesn't speak well for Palestinian women. Your worst day you shouldn't look like Yasser Arafat. For God's sake, get some moisturiser Palestinians Israelis amaze me Palestinians throw rocks at the Israelis the Israelis respond by blowing up their houses which just gives them more rocks so I don't know what they've been under for 3000 years I guess I know what you're doing with the Palestinians Israeli seems to me that both sides want each other to go back where they came from and they both came from one placement boom

Scott Edwards: 5:44

that was a very funny Jack Mayberry at a Texas. He worked for several times. I know you enjoyed his stand up. Hey, hope you enjoyed this bonus show. Come back Sunday for one of our regular shows. Be sure to tell your friends and your enemies. Why not? And have a good weekend. Hey, thanks for listening. Bye.

Jill Edwards: 6:05

Thanks for listening to this week's episode of comedy appetisers. Be sure to share with family and friends and we will see you this Sunday for our regular podcast, your host and emcee. And again next Friday for another episode of comedy appetizers. Bye