Cash Levy "Live on Stage" Show #78

Some terrific standup comedy recorded live on stage by comic Cash Levy. This guy is young and fun, you'll enjoy his stories and comedy.  Careful, you may even learn some new phrases...Ha!

Hosted by: R. Scott Edwards 

Transcript

Announcer: 0:02

Stand up comedy, your host and emcee presents, comedy appetizers, a podcast where you will find short comedy sets, stories and funny bits from the famous. Not so famous. Here's your host and emcee Scott Scott Edwards. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to comedy appetizers. We got a fun one for you today some great stand up comedy by a terrific comic he was a regular at my clubs. He's worked all over the country and i know you enjoy recorded live on stage. Let's hear it for cash levy

Cash Levy: 0:41

from San Francisco, please give it up for cash so great to be back in town. What a great metropolis you have here. My New Year's resolution was to take the rest of the year off I think work is evil and wrong Lyons my friends why and sleep 85% of their day have sex up to 55 times a day. Yeah, that's what we should be shooting for. I would love to get that much sleep great you wake up you have sex you have sex you go back to sleep at being like college only cheaper I hate getting up early in the morning. That's my problem with work. Some people come into work sick. I used to call in tired Yeah, boss can't come in today. I'm tired. But are you sick? am sick sick of work? makes me tired all the time. Well, early bird catches the worm cash. Yeah, but he's too tired to eat it. Why do you work six days I know what you're thinking you're following the footsteps of God right who worked for six days creating the earth and then took a day of rest. But you see, God didn't come back to work that next Monday. God has been punched in since now. God was a temp God didn't care about work. Thank you guys. First workday got punched and said, Let there be light. done for the day. I saw this lady on the airplane. She's like, Oh my God. You're professional comedian. I'm a professional dancer. We're both the same. work both in showbusiness. I'm like no, you work at a titty bar. There's a difference. I've never seen Baryshnikov give a couch dance. You know people are was lying about what they do for a living trying to make it sound better than it is. I own a carwash. No you own a hose I'm in the import export business. You sell marijuana to high school kids. From San Francisco No, I'm not gay. I deal with that all over the country. People think everyone from San Francisco is gay. You know I was just in Texas every night on stage it bring me up ladies and gentlemen please welcome from San Francisco back up the kids no, there's a queer on stage. And taught differently in Texas. I went to Taco Bell there was this guy in front of me in line he'd been waiting about two or three minutes for his food. I wrote down what he said he wouldn't have heard it anywhere else in the country when something like this what part they'll bring me my frickin food you do not understand perhaps you need to learn Spanish I said taco burrito Nacho Bell Grande what that food in my stomach pronto compare date is my favorite part at the end it was thought I was ordering a bag of Mexican food now I got so far as a sector bullshit like that expression sack of bullshit. I was using that all week. I got pulled over you know fast you're going this is a sack of bullshit. I heard another great phrase. This lady was reprimanding her son on the way home he was like 12 He was getting kind of cocky. She turned to him. She goes You got way too much crazy on your target, baby. That's even better than second bullshit that's so versatile you can use it in any situation. You're trying to negotiate a car you think the price is too high you better take some gravy off that took a baby maybe your friends been drinking you don't want them to drive you got way too much gravy in your turkey maybe you use these expressions you don't think you will but you will. You'll be walking around tonight we're not going to use that gravy on the turkey expression that's a sack of bullshit which you will you'll be in bed at night making love to married now Yeah, you'll be making love the heat of passion she'll turn to you You better put some gravy on that target I hear people all the time going whoosh and I think why don't we let advertisers make up our phrases. Let's take back our own phrases second bullshit gravy on the turkey. I got a I got a new one. Instead of awesome or cool when something's really cool. You say big bucket. Yeah, so he didn't like it at first. Maybe he's not getting the idea after she you know she put some gravy on your turkey. So maybe. Maybe that lovin was big bucket finger licking good.

Scott Edwards: 6:41

That was cash levy live on stage. I hope you enjoyed his stand up comedy. I think he's terrific and fun. The crowds always enjoyed him. Hey, if you had a good time, put some gravy on it. And we'll see you next week for another great show. Oh, and if you get a chance, tell your friends about this podcast. Bye.

Announcer: 7:00

Thanks for listening to this week's episode of comedy appetizers. Be sure to share with family and friends and we will see you this Sunday for our regular podcast, your host and emcee. And again next Friday for another episode of comedy appetizers. Bye